Why the hell are some humans cruel

Just when I think that humans are okay, I get slapped right in the face, of course I will explain why.

Death (my superhero) was right, I am baffled by the amount of suffering one human can inflict upon another and not be able to explain why, you are responsible for you actions, own up to them and take the consequences. Seems as though this world is full of s**t. I am trying to cool my mind down a little and try to organise inside my mind what I want to write, without fifty thousand profanities spilling out onto the proverbial page, this is difficult since I tend to swear like a sailor. Most of the time i can ignore this type of thing (not on purpose, as humans we have to learn, though some of us don’t learn anything because they’re stupid, either that or they refuse to take any blame for their own actions?), but this particular situation has gone beyond a joke and beyond tolerable. I know I can’t take on each battle and expect to win, sometimes I must step aside and let what happens to occur, but this time I utterly refuse to stand by and do nothing, definitely time to explain myself lmao. I will try my best.

I won’t divulge details as that breaks trust and rules, my friend home educates and home ed is full of web weaving idiots but within the community of home ed are the rare few good people who go out of their way to help you, my friend is one of the rarities, when I moved down to Wales, it was a new beginning, I knew no-one, she was the one who started talking to me and being enthusiastic about things, quickly she has become a really good friend and our twisted sense of humour blend perfectly (people who know me, know I don’t easily make friends, even as a kid, I was eager but not willing to change myself to fit in, which then left me pretty much isolated)  and she means a lot to me, even though trying to voice that is pretty hard, as I am not exactly good with expressing my emotions on a verbal level. More recently two people in particular have been out to make her life a misery (she has six kids a hubby and several pets) anyway, social services were involved, instigated by morons hoping to drop her in at the deep end and for no reason. Although it is not the same two who are stirring the cauldron this time, it would seem she is being made a scapegoat for someone else’s mistake or mistakes. The older more logical part of me tells me that I need to be there for her and that is exactly what I’m doing, she can rant rave and vent with me (I’m not saying I am the only one she can do this to, I know it sounds like that), I’m not perfect and I’m not one to judge, yet why do I feel I’m doing nothing? I know she said via PM last night that she felt guilty for dragging me further in and for leaning on me, so I replied to her that I prefer it to being shut out and that I’m here for her no matter what.

She does not deserve what these morons are putting her through and I truly hope that karma comes back to bite these people so hard it hurts.

This type of annoyance belongs in the playground, this type of behaviour doesn’t belong in society and yet it is there for everyone to see should you choose to see it. I’m tired of idiots and morons who refuse to accept that they made the mess, just own up and get something done about it, don’t push your lack of responsibility or whatever onto someone else because I know you know what you’re doing, I just hope you’re caught out and the consequences come to steam roll you.

With that being said and off my chest I now feel drained, so off to take a soak before writing, I even had an idea for a short story called – Helm of darkness (inspired by the helmet Hades wears to become invisible, which is called – the helm of darkness)



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Be Your Own Super Hero: Episode 1-Guest Blog Nadine Kimmage — Seeking Purpose Today (why I chose death)

If you are unfamiliar with what this is, let me tell you. I asked some writer friends if they would like to showcase their writing skills on my blog, by creating their own superhero. More Accurately, who they see themselves as if they had superpowers. What is important to them? Ideals, values, purpose, abilities, and […]

This was indeed a lot of fun and such a great challenge, people probably wonder why I chose death as a ‘superhero’ allow me to explain.

This fascination with death has been a long time thing of mine, we all know the standard image of death with a long dark robe and a scythe, since I can remember death has seemed more human than some humans (it is still the case now), I saw him/her as someone who was lonely (growing up, their were times I felt isolated and alone because I was so different to everyone else my age), who wandered the universe unseen and unheard (again this brought me back to being a child, I still feel much the same as an adult, though I am perfectly fine with being different, unseen, unless I choose to be seen and unheard unless my voice was needed) but as soon as Matt asked and I said yes, I felt I could hear death whispering and even crying (sounds odd but you understand if you’re a writer), of course their are many types of ‘superheroes’ but death (to me) seemed to fit me like a glove, as if death found a friend in me and I in him/her. It is, however true, without an acceptance of death, we as humans cannot truly live, because we are afraid of something we know nothing about and are afraid of, so next time you think of a ‘superhero’ find one that suits you.

via Be Your Own Super Hero: Episode 1-Guest Blog Nadine Kimmage — Seeking Purpose Today

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Inspired by Darkness


Michelle Burden: Twisted Tales


I know why you hurry up the basement stairs with your basket of clothes, or your bottle of wine – as if something was chasing you. They grab for your feet as you rush up the stair, but you are too fast for them.

I know why you are afraid of the dark.

I know what it is that pulses at the edge of your vision as you pass through the dim dining room on way to the kitchen for that late night snack.

I know, for I have seen them too.

The shadows that come alive, but only when not looking straight at them.

Look, and no, ‘tis only the shape of that shirt you tossed on the floor upon undressing last night.

Or is it?

I know what terrifies you. I see them, too.

They are everywhere.

Demonic shadows creeping upon you whilst your back is turned, whilst…

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Self doubt of a writer


I should really do a weekly blog update but my mind becomes a sieve, information goes in, then straight back out again. Determined to do a weekly blog, even if no-one reads it, it can be used by me at a later date.

As the title suggests, self doubt, it crept in about five weeks ago and I haven’t written much since, I am fifty percent through my second book (Raging Fall) and since I got to the halfway point, I have stalled. It is not a pleasant feeling, everyone knows this feeling, but somehow I find that writers, poets and such people suffer greatly with it, look at Van Gogh, (an artist yes but one of the greats) how tormented a soul he was, yet his work is beyond words, I admire him, mainly because he carried on, even though he had his demons, only after his death did he become famous, which seems to be a trend for a lot of people (Shakespeare included), maybe I am rambling a bit here, this is how I sometimes operate, by getting demons out there in the open, so I might dissect them and see where what went wrong and why etc.

What is self doubt? It is a voice that holds you back, makes you stumble, makes you question what you are doing and why are you bothering to do it? No one will listen, no one wants to hear it, so just walk away and do something else, that is just the tip of the iceberg and self doubt can be debilitating to a point where you stagnate and never move forward, this where I find myself currently, in five weeks I have done very little in the way of writing, I have tried motivating myself and ignoring that voice, it is nigh on impossible sometimes because it is soooo loud, I know that voice is lying, I know that, yet I still haven’t done anything.

It isn’t easy being human and when self doubt gets a hold on you, it is one hell of an uphill battle, I have found myself here plenty of times, but each time is slightly different and so I have to find different ways to plough through this and get to the other side, I know you’re probably thinking, ‘Oh, here come the excuses.’ and I know you might re-think that once I tell you something (I don’t use them as valid excuses, I want you to know what else I do besides writing), a lack of sleep doesn’t help, I home school, I work, I have a house to keep, I now have a cat, some days it all piles on top of me and I don’t know which way to turn or what the hell to do, I know I have a great network of friends and family to help me, but like my usual self, I take this on my own shoulders. I know I can’t stand still forever, that would be a waste of time.

For those of you who do read this, I don’t have any magic tips that will help you when you are in self doubt, perhaps taking small steps is helpful? That is what I’m going to do, as I age, I get tired of the world more often than not, I know the world’s problems are not mine alone to solve, it is for us all, though some of us suffer enough without having the weight of the world issues on their shoulders.

Scream shout, whatever it is you need to do.

I will leave with this – never allow self doubt to make you quit doing the one thing you love.

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Random thoughts

Sometimes I am not sure what I think or why I think it, shit just happens, but my eternal question which will never be answered is – why does it happen?

I’m never gonna know the answer, yet I want to know.

Sorry, just rambling on and feeling crap, not even sure what I’m actually on about to be honest. Guess I’m in a weird arse mood, which will come to pass, as with everything else.

Off to eat some chocolate and internally whinge and wonder why I gotta put up with the pain….

Should be in a better mood in a few days.

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Author Interview with – Elizabeth Jade

Good afternoon everyone, from a wet, windy and miserable South Wales.

I recently had the pleasure of interviewing a talented young author by the pen


Recently I got to interview a young talented author who goes by the pen name of – Elizabeth Jade, she suffers with Asperger’s and various mental health issues, but more of that in the interview. Before we begin the interview, here is some information on her book and herself, a little introduction if you will (I am playing with different formats for interviews), over to Elizabeth 😉

It was a pleasure emailing her and her mum Amanda, thank you so much for your time guys, I know how valuable time is, please go check out the book, it is truly a spectacular read.

Book Bio:

This husky, wolf story is a new addition to the great animal fiction tradition of Jack London and Erin Hunter, where the story is told through the eyes of the animals. Elizabeth Jade has created a captivating coming of age story which also teaches children about friendship and loyalty, and that being different doesn’t mean you can’t belong. It is a captivating chapter book for eight to twelve year-olds. 

Akea is born into a family of sled dogs and a life that follows a predictable path, but from the day she first sees the lone wolf, Kazakh, Akea knows her future lies beyond the safety of her home. Kazakh is well aware of Akea’s destiny and the pack laws he will break to help her reach it. Regardless of the challenges ahead, he must make sure this young husky will be ready, even if it means his life.

     Publisher – i2ipublishing

     ISBN – 9780995572980

     Price – £6.99

Author Bio:

Elizabeth Jade was born in North Yorkshire in 1998 and moved with her family to Somerset when she was very young. She was homeschooled from the age of 7, but only recently discovered that her struggles in school were due to Aspergers. She stumbled into writing at the age of 14 when she began to struggle with depression and anxiety and quickly found her story ideas pouring out faster than she could get them onto paper. She has always had a passion for animals and has volunteered at various rescues, so it seemed only natural that her stories would revolve around them. With further adventures for Akea already written in her head, a wonderful journey is set to unfold for both reader and author alike.

“I don’t write stories, ” she says, “I just put a bunch of words onto paper and the characters do the rest. Plot twists are never planned, they just happen. If you let your imagination run riot, trust me, you’ll be surprised at the result – I always am.”

And now without further a do, the interview (followed by various links to her work, author page, youtube channel etc)

Nadine –  Q1 – Hi Elizabeth, could you tell us a little more about yourself, please?

Elizabeth –  Elizabeth Jade is my pen-name.  I wanted to keep my writing separate from the other things I do, so I decided to use my middle names. This makes perfect sense until someone calls my author name in public and it takes me a moment to realise, they are talking to me. I’m a children’s book author and an animal lover. Animals make much more sense to me than people. This is probably why the main characters in my current series are wolves and huskies. I live in Somerset in the UK with my family and three dogs – two Shih Tzu and one mad Border Collie. The younger Shih Tzu thinks of itself as a Border Collie. Like my dog, I’ve always had a unique take on life, and I was finally diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome (an autistic spectrum disorder) just under three years ago, when I was eighteen. Fortunately, writing is one of those things you can do in the quiet of your own home, so it fits my anti-social Aspie brain perfectly. I’ve also struggled with anxiety and depression for several years, and this combined with Aspergers has been a real challenge.


Nadine –  Q2 – If you were a spirit animal, what would it be and why?

Elizabeth –  I have a very alert mind. It notices things that people I’m with often miss, and it remembers even insignificant things long after they happened.  For this reason, my mother sometimes calls me Hawk Eye. However, I have an almost telepathic connection to most four legged mammals, but I couldn’t say which of these I am most like. In the end, I decided to answer this question using several YouTube tests and came up with two different animals. So, it looks like I’m a jaguar or a wolf – a Jag wolf!


Nadine –  Q3 – Have you always wanted to be an author?

Elizabeth –  I’m not sure I ever ‘wanted’ to be an author. It just seemed to happen. I was home educated from the age of seven and I struggled to get to grips with the whole spelling, punctuation, handwriting and imagination thing. I could perform either of these to a good standard as an individual requirement, but I couldn’t combine them together in the same piece of work. So, one day, my mother told me to forget about them and just allow my imagination to flow.  She promised not to correct any of the above which was quite a big step for someone with a spelling fetish. Things were a little stilted to begin with, but I began to enjoy the experience and the ideas started to flow.  When I first started struggling with depression and anxiety, I found writing was a marvellous distraction. However, once I got started, I quickly found the ideas pouring out faster than I could get them onto paper.  They would fight at all hours of the day and night to be allowed out and I now have two large folders full of ideas and bits of stories. Although I am still at the mercy of what I jokingly call ‘The Board of Directors in My Head,’ I have at least developed the skill to send them home at night so I can get some sleep.


Nadine –  Q4 – What was the inspiration behind the story?

Elizabeth –  The idea for Akea came purely by accident.  I like to work with a photo or illustration of my character in front of me. I was searching for an image of a husky for a story idea I had involving a Dalmatian and where the Husky was a secondary character. I came across one photo which felt like the husky was looking at me and telling me her own story.  The sensation was so strong that I had to write it for her and ‘Akea – The Power of Destiny’ was born.  I went on to write Akea’s next adventure which should be out this year, and then parts of the next four stories involving Akea and her extended family. Incidentally, the Dalmatian story was never written.


Nadine –  Q5 – Do you also write so you can make sense of thoughts, feelings and the world around you?

Elizabeth –  I don’t consciously use writing to make sense of thoughts and feelings, etc. I write partly because I feel compelled to do so, but also because writing is a very absorbing experience. You become so immersed in what you are doing that you don’t really notice the world around you.  For me, it’s a safe place to be – a place I am in control of. However, several people have compared Akea’s journey of self-discovery to my personal journey as a young person being diagnosed with Aspergers.  So, although I didn’t deliberately write this story to make sense of the world around me, it seems I have subconsciously included my own experience by covering the idea of belonging even when you are different from your peers. Another way in which my autism has affected my writing is in the need to give the animals names that had meanings. This helped me to visualise the characters, and I automatically included the meanings in the book as this was important to me. Later, my editor persuaded me to remove any meanings that weren’t needed as part of the story. I could understand his reasoning on the matter, but even now, I still need to choose names that have meanings even if the meaning isn’t needed in the story.  It’s just a quirky part of who I am.  Most of the animal names I use in the Akea series are Russian, and the wolves refer to themselves by the Russian word for wolf – volk.


Nadine –  Q6 – Because your story is told through the eyes of a husky, do you think readers engage quicker with the story because of that?

Elizabeth –  Having the story told through the eyes of the husky allows you to see the world from her perspective and I think this helps you to become more emotionally involved.  You feel drawn in and can experience all the ups and downs that she does. I think it’s this perspective that helps adults to enjoy Akea too, despite it being for children. In fact, one of my adult readers left this review on Amazon: “I quickly found myself immersed in Akea, and I practically lived her emotional and physical journey that affected the lives of everyone she met.”


Nadine –  Q7 – Through the story are you highlighting the plight of huskies? And animals in general?

Elizabeth –  No, I don’t think so, but then I’m never entirely sure what my brain is thinking when it is dictating stories to me.  During my research on huskies and husky behaviour, I did discover some interesting information about them though. For example, they are very intelligent animals and easy to train.  However, as pack dogs they need an owner who can commit to regular training and who can kindly, but firmly show they are the pack leader. In fact, most husky rescue sites say you shouldn’t get a husky if you can’t commit to regular training. The plight of animals on our planet is of concern to me though. I can remember a story idea arising from seeing a YouTube video about some dogs in a badly run shelter – It was quite distressing to watch.  As well as writing that particular story down, I also illustrated it through a video story using Schleich characters, music and subtitles.  It came out rather well.


Nadine –  Q8 – Will or is there going to be a follow-up story?

Elizabeth –  Oh yes! I have finished the manuscript for the second book, called ‘Akea – His Mother’s Son’ which sees one of her children separated from the pack, and you get to follow two story lines through most of the book. There are also several appearances of the legendary Great White Wolf who was only referred to in the first book. This book is now receiving a professional eye and I hope to have it published later this year. I am also three quarters of the way through the third book in the series and have written significant portions of books 4, 5 and 6.


Nadine –  Q9 – Any advice for budding writers out there?


Elizabeth –  When I first started writing, I had this weird idea in my head that chapters should be a specific length and I would write until I had reached the number of pages designated to the chapter. This was extremely limiting and not a mistake I will repeat. I would advise people just to write and keep writing until the story is all there in front of you.  Then go back and edit. Also, don’t be distracted by research. Unless the information is vital to the progress of the story, leave a note to come back to that point later, so you don’t lose your flow – unless you are like me, of course, then you can do three things at once anyway. And finally, make sure your work is properly edited – your reputation could depend on it.


Nadine –   Q10 – Is there anything else you’d like to say? Or talk about?


Elizabeth –  Having Aspergers and mental health issues can make life a real challenge, but with the right support I was able to make my dream of becoming an author come true.  My parents have been amazing, and I couldn’t have got here without them. There are lots of talented people out there, including many who are on the autistic spectrum, and I wanted to inspire them to pursue their dreams too.  With this in mind, I donated a copy of Akea to the Somerset Autism Collection at a major library in our area. Akea will be the first book in the collection to celebrate the achievement of someone with autism rather than supporting them with it.  I hope people will be encouraged by my personal journey as well as enjoying my book, and I hope people will encourage and support one another in all areas of life.


And finally –

Q11 – Where can people find you and your work?


Website – https://www.elizabethjade.org


Facebook – https://www.Facebook.com/AkeaWolfStories/


Twitter – https://twitter.com/akeawolfstories


Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/akeawolfstories.author/


Amazon USA – http://a.co/brQ441D

Amazon UK – http://amzn.eu/flpTTDD


Good Reads – https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35448456-akea—the-power-of-destiny


YouTube –https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzp6CBtv8ZW8hGU9gNszlcw?view_as=subscriber


Once again, thank you so much to both Elizabeth and her mum Amanda for taking time out to do this interview, two-three weeks time is the turn of FoxJenz, who writes on wattpad, check out my previous (and first) indie author interview with Sarah L Cartwright. Bye for now

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Watch “Nadine Kimmage Author of Replenish Interview” on YouTube — Seeking Purpose Today

via Watch “Nadine Kimmage Author of Replenish Interview” on YouTube — Seeking Purpose Today

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